Unconditional Love and Growing Old Together
by Teresa (1,508)
Freelance writer/Speaker
It is scary yet comforting how someone can know you so well as to know that something very specific is going on in your head.
Such was the case for me last night. Not sure he wanted to know the answer, my husband says,
"Come on, give it to me straight. What are thinking about?"
"N-O-T-H-I-N-G"
"Don't lie."
"Well, if you must know, I was thinking about how I was going to honor you since you are getting older tomorrow."
"I'm sorry I asked, meanie."
Today is a special day for two reasons. One being his birthday and two, it is the day we officially became a couple. (Our wedding anniversary is in October.)
I know, I agree with you! The second reason is of much greater importance. After all, he was blessed with the privilege of calling me his girl. (Go ahead, throw up-then resume reading.)
Do you feel better now? Awesome, let's continue.
As I was saying a few lines back, I wanted to do something special for the man I have called my own for 24 years as of today. I spent all day talking it over with the Lord and He brought a few Proverbs to mind. I have to say, I love God's sense of humor, yet it fits.
In honor of my husband's birthday, I share these Proverbs with you today.
"And the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping" Proverbs 19:13
I know this is what I was for so long. I didn't realize my nagging and finger pointing was driving you crazy. Not until I heard the faucet leak. Drip. Drip. Drip. Ugh! But I finally got it. Thank you for being patient with me.
"Better to dwell in a tent in the wilderness than with an angry and contentious wife" Proverbs 21:19
Is that where you were? I don't blame you for not wanting to come home. I'm sorry that the animals were more comforting to you than I was. But God showed me the way. Thank you for being patient with me.
God must love me. He gave me a man who saw past the hardness of my heart; one who appreciated my loyalty and fiery passion. Moreover, the only man who was and still is willing to put up with me.
So what does this have to do with you? I'm glad you asked.
Husbands, do not give up on your wife. Be patient. In addition, while you are out in the wilderness, say a prayer for her. Show her love and understanding. Look past the superficial and allow God to give you a vision of how those seemingly bad qualities can be awesome when nurtured by a loving husband.
Wives, quit nagging. Support your husband even if you think he does not deserve it. The next time he doesn't come home, ask yourself if you are the reason.
Unconditional love and practical application of these and many other Proverbs are the answer to strengthening a frail marriage. Unconditional love will give you a lasting and joyful one.
As for you Mr. Ortiz, happy birthday and thank you for not throwing me out of the house like you did our leaky faucet! Although it isn't a traditional birthday song, it is does express the sentiments of my heart. (Except for a few parts that do not apply).
I wanna make you smile,
whenever you're sad.
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad.
Oh, all I wanna do, is grow old with you.
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches,
Build you a fire when the furnace breaks.
Oh, it could be so nice, growin' old with you.
I'll miss you, kiss you,
Give you my coat when you are cold,
Need you, feed you.
I'll even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink,
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the [wo]man who grows old with you.
I wanna grow old with you.
Lyrics by Adam Sandler
Article submitted Friday, March 28, 2008 & read 1733 times.
Leave Your Comments:
» left by Susan Thom (1 year 352 days ago.)
hi teresa,
i think we can all realate to the poem, whether we are men or women. we tend to take our partners for granted, not realizing that we wouldn't know what to do without them.
thanks for a good article,
my best regards,
sue
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» left by (1 year 352 days ago.)
Thank you Sue. It is amazing how easy it is to take each other for granted. Not just in romantic relationships, but in friendships as well. Thanks for reading and I am glad you enjoyed it. Teresa
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» left by Kathy Somers Walsh (1 year 352 days ago.)
Teresa...Thanks for this article and thank you for everything, your knowledge in the lord, marriage and life certainly has helped me more than you know.
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» left by (1 year 352 days ago.)
Hi Kathy, I'm glad that my experiences have been helpful to you. I praise the Lord that He would see fit to use someone such as myself to be an encouragement to others. You are always in my prayers. God is doing a great work! Count on it. Love and hugs, Teresa
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» left by Mr. Keith (1 year 351 days ago.)
I am a spiritual person and yet I am tired of others quoting scripture. I am tired of having to justify why I do not believe in the sincerity of the Bible while getting looks of being a heathen. I do not believe in GOD as a being who sits in the clouds keeping a notebook of all our sins. I also believe the devil to be a man made excuse for evil. The universe is too large for GOD to care whether I looked at a girl's bust in lust to be bothered.
If you could travel 2 billion miles EVERY SECOND for 500 million years I would still be in God's universe. Do I think he cares moment to moment about me? No!
Do I think he cares about me at all? YES, Greatly so.
I am just tired of always being quoted scripture and when I see it I just tune it out to the ozone.
Sorry, I can't help the way I feel!.
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» left by (1 year 351 days ago.)
Hi Mr. Keith. Everyone is entitled to believe how they want. You don't have to apologize for it. If you notice, when I quote Scripture it relates to what I learned from it. This article is about unconditional love and patience for one another. So I am having difficult time understanding how your comments fit this article. Other than the fact that it makes me wonder it hit a nerve of some sort? Anyway, thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. You mentioned that you don't believe God sits in the clouds keeping a notebook, and that is your choice. But the Bible tells us that there are books in heaven. Books of Life, Books of Memories, Books of tears. It is in the book of revelation. Anyway, all the best to you. And thank you for sharing your feelings. I appreciate your sincerity and honesty. Blessings to you. Teresa
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» left by Laura Trahan (1 year 351 days ago.)
Teresa-Great article and I think you picked the perfect song! Happy Birthday to your husband! Great advice that I think sometimes as women we forget. Thanks for sharing so much of your heart and yourself! Blessings to you both!
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» left by (1 year 351 days ago.)
Hi Laura, thank you for the birthday wish to my now 45 year-old hubby :-) I am glad you enjoyed the article. The wedding singer is one of my all time favorite movies and I think that song is great, I'm glad you did too! Blessings right back to you and yours. Teresa
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» left by Hannah Quinn (1 year 350 days ago.)
Teresa,
It's all too easy to forget why we fell in love with someone in the first place. We need to always keep stock of our partner's good points and sigh and move on with their bad points - after all, we all have them. Not that I'd recommend staying with a violent or 100% non-contributing partner of either gender. It's funny (not the laughing kind), that many years after divorce and the subsequent death from cancer of my husband, I tend to remember his good points and understand more of his bad points with the advantage of hindsight and perspective. I can also understand more of my reactions and contributions: the good, the bad and the ugly!
Congratulations on your milestone, and a happy birthday to your man.
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» left by (1 year 350 days ago.)
Hi Hannah, you are so right. Your words from a difficult experience serve as an encouragement to never take each other for granted. Focusing on the good is best. Thank you for your comments and birthday wish.
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» left by Anonymous (1 year 350 days ago.)
I think that's very sweet what you did. And it is strange how people that know you for a long time can read you. Me and my mother can do it all the time. lol.
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» left by (1 year 350 days ago.)
Thanks Anon, for reading and commenting. My daughter and I do that quite often as well. My husband and my son too. It's all about love and respect and taking the time to really understand another person and appreciate their unique personality. PS, Is this Britt? lol
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» left by Stephany Springer (1 year 350 days ago.)
Teresa, well written! Thank you for the scriptural reminder to be less contentious. And for the Sandlerian reminder of good music!
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» left by (1 year 350 days ago.)
Hi Stephany, thank you and your welcome :-) I did think it was a little ironic the the song that fit the most was from "the darkside" lol.
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» left by Kimberly (1 year 349 days ago.)
I thought it was a very good article. Happy 45th Birthday to your hubby and congrats on 24 years of marriage. Kimberly
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» left by (1 year 349 days ago.)
Hi Kimberely, thanks for the nice comment and birthday wish. I wasn't very clear in the article. We have been dating for 24 years and in October we will have our 23rd wedding anniversary. Oops. Thanks again! God Bless you!
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» left by Robert Melaccio, Sr. (1 year 348 days ago.)
All from the heart, as usual, good job and frankly many more couples need such advice. Robert
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» left by (1 year 348 days ago.)
Hi Robert, thanks! I counsel with many women about this. It's hard to recoginize your own sin and so much easier to point out the sin of others. For healing to take place in a marriage or any relationship. Each person must accept responsibility for their own faults. I am grateful when anyone can learn from my experience. God is so good to let nothing go to waste! Thanks again. God Bless.
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» left by Paul Blake (1 year 347 days ago.)
Marriage is made in heaven and obviously yours was. Those who are not so sure should read your god inspired words it may be their salvation.
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» left by (1 year 347 days ago.)
Hi Paul, thank you for your kind words. I do pray that others who feel like they have lost hope in their marriage can be encouraged by what God did for us. God Bless you! Teresa
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» left by (1 year 347 days ago.)
Since I am not married, I am in no position to comment how perfect marriages should be done. But I can see that you two are holding your relationships well. All the best, happy bday to Mr. Ortiz and enjoy your anniversary!
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» left by (1 year 347 days ago.)
Hi Ron, thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. I appreciate the b-day wish, I will pass it on. We had a great day with our kids and he did enjoy his special day. God Bless you! Teresa
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» left by (1 year 347 days ago.)
to Quote Adam Sandler is just not right. Too much in (quotation)
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» left by (1 year 347 days ago.)
Hi Jeff, thank you for the comment. I appreciate the tip on quotations, it is a bit risky at times, but I think it was okay this time since of wanted to relate the conversation with my hubby. I am still learning how to write. Thanks for the tip. As far as quoting Adam Sandler, well, it works for us, because it said it well. Although, I do agree, qouting Scripture and Adam Sandler in the same article is a bit unusual., But God knows my heart and the goofy relationship my hubby and I have. God Bless you. Teresa
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» left by Jim Murdoch (1 year 347 days ago.)
Thanks Teresa, Ancient wisdom still applies to today. I have a great wife and we still have a wonderful relationship after 28 years. Happy anniversary and many more to come.
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» left by (1 year 347 days ago.)
Thank you Jim, and congrats on your 28 yrs! And the many more to come! Blessings to you!
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» left by Mark Parsec(13) (1 year 231 days ago.)
Bravo, Teresa! I enjoyed the article. I can still hear Adam Sandler singing... "I'll even let you hold the remote control!" What a riot. Thanks, and God bless you.Respond to this comment
» left by Teresa (1,508)
Hi Mark, glad you enjoyed it. Yeah, Adam Sandler is the most amazing singer--ha!The Wedding Singer is one of my all-time favorites.God bless you too!Respond to this comment
» left by Chiradeep - The Candles (1 year 231 days ago.)
Thanks once again for commenting on my article. I really loved your post, not just because you confess, but because you are an inspiration not only to many wives but many spouses as a whole. It will improve my relationship with my wife also from today onwards.I have a great burden for broken families and I am glad that you are also so conscious about a 'Marriage Bond'. Thanks again...May God Bless you abundantly.Respond to this comment
» left by Teresa (1,508)
Thank you! I am so glad and feel blessed that you this message has given you something to improve your marriage. We need all the tools the Lord has given us.I too pray for marriages all the time. Too many break up and do not give unconditional love a try. It's tough road sometimes, but worth every minute of it. Thank you for taking the time to comment.God Bless you abundantly as well. Keep the candle burning :-)Respond to this comment
» left by Starflower33 from Centreville, VA (1 year 80 days ago.)
Hopefully, husbands should show some kindness also & try to be a better partner too! It's hard to be the only one trying......Respond to this comment
» left by Teresa (1,508)
Hi Starflower 33 from Centreville,Yes, it is a two-way street. But someone has to be the first to change, otherwise it is just a vicious cycle that leads to more pain.I agree, for quite awhile I felt I was the only one trying. But what I found was that I was not listening. I was trying in a way that was comfortable to me but was not what was really needed. Stepping out of my comfort zone and making changes in myself gave way to great communication and mutual love and respect and a beautiful relationship. It's not easy, but way worth it.Lord bless you! Thank you for reading and commenting. I appreciate it.Respond to this comment
» left by Marijo Phelps(371)(210 days 4 hours ago.)
What a giggle, glad I found this piece! As you know, Mick and I can relate to the 24 part but we were more "geriatric" when we said our "I do's" MarijoRespond to this comment
» left by Judy from Texas (202 days 3 hours ago.)
What a joy to read.. Held my interest !Respond to this comment