I Believe In God (A Personal Testimony)

by Jim Reynolds⁽¹¹⁾

I Believe In God (A Personal Testimony)

If you share your faith fairly regularly, you know rejection. You've seen the glassy stare, the " I've heard all this before " nod, the not so subtle raising of the hands to nonverbally push you away. Most frustrating to me over the years has been the justification of " I believe in God. " I used to perform a lot of wedding ceremonies, with very few restrictions. I figured the required premarital counseling would give me the opportunity to share the Gospel with the couple, maybe even allow me to lead some to first time faith. Most would shake their heads and agree, intoning the same " We believe in God " line. Meanwhile, there was nothing in their lives to indicate this " belief " had effected their lifestyle one iota. While I was explaining, during one ceremony, that each person must make the conscious decision to submit to Christ, I caught one such groom rolling his eyes. " I believe in God " indeed. That, by the way, was the end of my " few restrictions " policy on weddings.

" I believe in God. Pray to him 'most every day. " When paired with zero actual change, when these are merely words, it's such an aggravating defense. Air tight and impregnable. A deception that strengthens with time. Or so I thought.

-----

His family described him with words like " crusty old man, " " cantankerous, " and " a handful. " I have no doubt that H was once all of that and more. By the time I was introduced to him at the hospital however, something had softened him a bit. I found him spirited and what my parents would call ornery, but not angry or mean. He was a hoot.

H bounced from his daughter's home to the Nursing Home, and back into the hospital, several times it seems. I don't honestly remember what his original diagnosis was. He had surgery to remove part of his foot -- the treatment for a circulation issue, I believe. In addition to being " softer, " something had opened him up spiritually. He was asking questions and taking on issues he'd been quite private about before.

Early on, we bumped into the " I believe in God " wall. Inside, I sighed; he had lived under this partial truth for 80 some years. What could change him? I taught him that even Satan and his demons " believe in God. " The difference, I said, is experiencing God's forgiveness. That comes from recognizing our need for forgiveness and by trusting that Jesus is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do, which is rescue us and cleanse us from all our wrong. When we recognize our need, His provision, and take that step of trust and commitment, that's the dividing line. " I believe in God, I do. " he repeated.

There was something softer and more open about him though. Each time I visited, we seemed to dig a little deeper. He was taking baby steps forward in his understanding and his acceptance. He began to recognize he really might need to be forgiven. He had, after all, not been a boy scout. He began to say things like " I'd like to know more about this Jesus fellow. " One Sunday, his daughter came to me after Church and announced: " Dad says he wants to be baptized. " I have to be honest. My first thought was " Oh good, another half truth to combat. Getting you wet, sir, is not the answer. Let's talk about forgiveness again... "

I, of course, went again to visit with H. I talked to him about the truth of why we are baptized. " That is just so the rest of the world can see -- in a dramatic way -- what has already happened inside. That you've already been forgiven... have already crossed that line... and have already begun a new life. " I reminded him of our previous discussions, about how " belief in God " is only the beginning. We still need forgiveness from that God.

Like most who have been " trained " to share their faith, I use a bit of a " method. " I have memorized several scriptures, some references. Others I have marked in my Bible, and I have a " road " mapped out in there. Beside each verse is the address for the next. I sensed more openness and readiness than ever before and asked him if I could read some Scripture. He agreed. I felt compelled by Holy Spirit to skip the first several that I often read and jumped directly to the middle of my " presentation. "

Six words were out of my mouth when I saw verses I've read probably a hundred times before come alive with " the power of God unto salvation. "

John 14:1 -- (Jesus said) " Let not your heart be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in Me. "

God's power, through His Word, unlocked H's heart at that moment. After reading the rest of the passage, ending with " Jesus answers, 'I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father but by Me.' " I repeated the basics of the Gospel and asked, " Is this something you need to do? " He nodded and said something like, " I reckon so. " I asked him if he wanted to pray on his own or to repeat my words. He indicated he would appreciate the help. I explained to him that there was nothing " magic " about the words, that he couldn't " just " repeat; he needed to make sure his words expressed HIS trust. Then I prayed and thanked God for sitting on the edge of His Throne, because He had waited for this day for so long. " Now, repeat after me. Just say something like " Dear God, thank You for hearing me... "

I can't remember H's exact words, but I know he didn't need my help at all. He took off on his own and this " crusty old man " tearfully asked forgiveness for his sin. A lifetime holding on to the partial truth of " I believe in God " was transformed by trust and commitment and Christ. Later that afternoon, I baptized him in the family's hot tub! I visited with him once or twice more after that day. He wanted to know " Just how do I get to know this Jesus fellow anyway? What do I do now? " We talked about reading his Bible and praying. About starting in Mark because it was short and full of action.

Two days ago, after hours in a coma like state, H opened his eyes one last time, gazed around the room at his family, and breathed his last. I thank God for the dozens, if not hundreds, of men and women over the years who faithfully shared the truth with H. Some probably thought they had wasted their time. It is humbling to be present at the harvest after so many others worked the ground and planted the seed. I hope H was welcomed at the Gates by a chorus of welcomes from all who had a part in his salvation. I hope H greeted His Savior with an exclamation of " Oh! YOU'RE what everyone's been talking about. " I trust now that H knows what " fully known " means and I am thrilled and full of joy that H can now stare that " Jesus fellow " in the eye and no longer needs to " get to know about Him. "

-----

He gave me a gift I will not forget. Not just knowing him, but that was a treat. I used to leave " I believe in God " conversations feeling guilty... knowing there was something I should have said... something I could have said that would break that shell. I was okay -- though of course saddened -- by those who chose their liquor or their illicit lifestyle or whatever over faith in Jesus. I understood that, to some degree. But I never understood the truth of " I believe in God " before H. Though it sounds positive and though the people repeating the phrase genuinely do believe in God, I now realize that this is also a genuine rejection of Jesus. It is a defense, a deferring of the question. It means, " I think I'm fine with God, don't need anything else, and won't listen to anything else. " Therefore, it is impregnable and difficult to break through... unless God Himself does the breaking.

We are, of course, still responsible to speak the truth. We can't hide our disobedience with others' rejection. H taught me though that if one will drop their guard, God's truth can permeate even the " crustiest " heart. Gives me hope for that groom.

Walk WITH Jesus,

Jim

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Jim Reynolds – John 14:1-6

Copyright September 2009

Article submitted Friday, September 11, 2009 & read 817 times.

Leave your comments through World Wide Bible Studies:

» left by Lance Ponder⁽⁹¹⁾ (2 years 145 days ago.)

I genuinely appreciate the personal testimony you shared at the opening of this article. I was very recently ordained and have not yet performed any ceremonies like a wedding, but I do appreciate the gravity of your statements and I will take them to heart.
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» left by Jim Reynolds⁽¹¹⁾ (2 years 145 days ago.)

Lance, thanks for the feedback. Yeah, just don't allow yourself to be "used" for an official signature and a merely superficial stamp of blessing.
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» left by Marijo Phelps from mountain meadow CO (2 years 145 days ago.)

"Even the enemy believes in God and trembles"... Very well shared and written. Enjoyed reading this piece. Marijo (Mary Jo is how it's pronounced)
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» left by Teresa^(1,655) (2 years 144 days ago.)

Hi Jim, thank you for sharing this story and the truth of this essential part of the Gospel message. It is a whole lot more than lip service. Thanks for reminding us to share the gospel in its complete fashion with grace and truth. Blessings to you! So gald to see you posting here again. It's gooooood stuff :-)
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