Preaching, Practicing, and Piercing: When Your Child Wants a Facial Piercing
by Teresa(1,457)
Freelance writer/Speaker
*The following story was originally shared two years ago - I share it again today, with some updated information and prayerfully, some insight that might help some parents with teenagers who are faced with this situation*
~~~~~
It was just another ordinary day - my son, Justin and I were sitting around talking about this and that.... "Mom, what would you say if I told you I wanted an eye piercing?" "Only losers and druggies have piercings!” The words came out of my mouth so fast, I didn't even know I said them until I was done with my sentence - my heart was pumping and I was immediately in a bad mood.
"I'm just kidding, don't freak out on me". "Don't joke about a thing like that."
There was an odd silence in the room; I don't know what his problem was, but he went into his room and closed the door rather loudly.
"What was that all about", I thought to myself. Oh Well, I guess I'll turn on some music and start cleaning. To my shame, I never thought my actions through.
(O' Lord, why do you even put up with me?)
Three weeks later, my husband and are having breakfast, I know something is on his mind as there was that same odd silence I had experienced with my son.
(Here it comes, though I would have never expected the "it" to be this!)
"I know how you feel about piercings.... 'he isn't going to say it'... but I talked with Justin and he really wants to have one." "You hurt his feelings when you told him only losers and druggies have piercings".
"Well, it’s true!" "Calm down, Teresa, what is the big deal - Justin is doing great in school, he has a job, he doesn't get into trouble, he is paying for his own dirt-bike... should I go on?"
I couldn't hold back the tears, "First he doesn't want to go to church anymore, and now this?" Then the real issue comes to surface - What will other people think! My husband knew I was being irrational, so being the wise man that he is; he told me that he would leave me alone until I could be reasonable.
It's been said over and over that God works in mysterious ways, it is so true! During this time, I was preparing for the womens conference I was to be speaking at in just 6 weeks. I had been praying about what stories I would be sharing. The topic was "Recovering from Doubt and Restoring Joy One Step at a Time". "You are so funny, Lord, isn't just like you to give me a new story".
As I cleaned the house, I whined to my Lord, trying to get Him to understand my point of view and to change my husband's ridiculous way of thinking.
"Teresa, my child, you know I love you and you know I love Justin, you have been preaching and teaching unconditional love and acceptance - Is this what you are doing"? "Yes, but this is different, this is my child."
All at once, the conviction and shame came flooding to my heart. (Forgive me, Father for having this attitude. I know that no one is a loser in your eyes - you didn't give up on me.) I knew I was wrong. I knew I had to deal with this - going back to the very first conversation with my son.
"Justin, can we talk"? I told him I was sorry for being selfish and inconsiderate. I told him that I loved him and that I was being completely irrational. He forgave me, but not before he told me that I needed to practice what I preached. I deserved it.
With the appointment set, I had three weeks to align my heart with the decision I made in my head. I prayed and prayed that God would change my heart.
The hour had come. "Mom, are you okay, you don't have to come if you don't want to." "No way, I am coming and I am not upset at all. God has changed my heart." He didn't say another word, but at that moment, I became a mind reader: Okay, mom, but if you say anything....
I have to say, once I saw it, it actually looked cool; it wasn't this big bulky spike I expected to see. We went out to dinner and had a wonderful time. My "inside matched my outside", as I used to tell the pre-school Sunday school class.
The days that followed were even more special. My son and I had become much closer as I showed him what unconditional love was all about.
"You know mom, it's kinda ironic that you help me everyday to clean and change my piercing every time I have to go to work". My son laughed when he heard me pray "Lord, please don't let this get infected and help me get the little bally thingy in place, I can't see the hole". "Thanks, mom, I love you."
"Hey mom, so am I a loser and a druggie?” No son, you're not a loser or a druggie."
~~~~~
My son is currently in Arizona, going to Motorcylce Mechanics Institute, is a responsible young man, and guess what? He has no signs of ever having piercings - yes, I said piercings. Six months after his brow piercing he decided he wanted a lip piercing. He was staying out of trouble and doing good in school and at work, so reluctently we agreed.
The amazing thing is, as we left him alone about this, his co-workers ended up being the ones to "hassel" him. His supervisor, whom he respected, told him that like it or not, those things will hinder his chances of moving on to bigger and better things after high school.
The lip ring got old pretty quickly. Four months after he had it, even he had to admit is was uncomfortable and annoying. He removed it of his own accord. The brow piercing stayed until 3 weeks before his high school graduation.
He admits now it was just a phase and one he was glad we backed off on because although he would be frustrated when we said no to other things, he respected our answer and reasoning. So much so that it kept him from sneaking off to places he knew he should not go.
As Christian parents, we can be too consumed with the outward appearance that we forget the most important roll is to instill biblical qualities of character in their minds, so that ultimately, they will be changed from the inside out.
..First clean the inside, that the outside might also be clean... Jesus
© Teresa Ortiz 2007; 2009
Article submitted Thursday, October 08, 2009 & read 270 times.
Leave Your Comments:
» left by Marijo Phelps(250)(295 days 16 hours ago.)
Yah, and if not for piercings the children of Israel would have left Egypt MUCH, much poorer.... even way back then.... GRIN - GREAT sermonette here T! MarijoRespond to this comment
» left by Teresa(1,457)
ha! So true! So True! Thanks for being such a faitfhul and encouraging reader/writer :-)
Respond to this comment
» left by paul from nyc (295 days 14 hours ago.)
Not infrequently,when one of my pupils enters my class and sports lip rings,five ear piercings,on each ear,nose posts,lip posts and a pierced tongue, I ask them,pointedly;"what's the NEXT step, to hang draperies?"Sometimes,they're amused....PaulRespond to this comment
» left by Teresa(1,457)
Paul, now this is funny :-) Thanks for the comment. I will have to remember your saying.
Respond to this comment
» left by Linda DeWitt from Ca. (293 days 8 hours ago.)
Good article. Thanks for sharing.Linda DRespond to this comment
» left by Teresa(1,457)
Hi Linda, thank you so much for reading. I'm so glad you enjoyed the article. It's tough when our children grow up and do things we did plan for them to do. :-) I know you and Michelle have had your moments. But God is good! Thanks again. Many blessings to you! T
Respond to this comment