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Wedding Date Picked by the Lord – Outrageous Ideas on Sex Before Marriage Series

by Marijo Phelps⁽¹⁹⁹⁾ Red Star

I was enjoying the time at Youth With a Mission in Garden Valley, Texas. So many great ministries were in the area and we did things with the other ones too. We did an abortion awareness one with Last Days Ministries (Keith and Melody Green’s outreach) Dallas Holm lived outside the YWAM back gate and he was a great Christian singer back then too, Brother Dave Wilkerson was close by and some of us went to Sunday morning services in his Warehouse, The 2 nd Chapter of Acts singing group was a short ways another direction. The prayer covering for that part of East Texas must have been phenomenal. We even ran into some of these Christian warriors at the grocery store. They were people who loved Jesus, just like us.

The Lord was taking me through wonderful and sometimes difficult teaching. He was placing my pieces back together after an abrupt divorce that I had thought would not be happening but it did.

I was working in the front office of YWAM and we were having a staff devotional time listening to a cassette of Joy Dawson, who was a YWAM teacher. She was sharing a story of their move to the United States. Their container with all their belongings was loaded on the ship and they got word their paper work was done incorrectly and they’d have to start over and take TWO YEARS “just like everybody else”. That’s when their intense prayers began as a family and the Lord started working overtime we soon discovered. The date they were originally supposed to fly out to be in Southern California in time to pick up their container was July 14 th . As she spoke that date the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart “that’s going to be a real important date for you”. After devotional time was over I wrote it on my calendar in red with “important date”? and left it there.

I had no clue what that date would be. I had no plans, was not involved in anything but friendships with a couple of guys who were, well, good brothers. My commitment was to work in the front office “until further notice”.

Months flew by and life was interesting – never any boredom in my life like I had before I met my Jesus. I had a number of close friends who were also on staff. Several girls and one bearded red head carpenter named Mick.

He and I had become good friends after I avoided him for a year. My ex husband was a bearded red head and I was not going to take that risk again – BUT JESUS. We had developed a close friendship and sought the Lord about something more (other pieces written about this). My birthday was in April and we had prayed and fasted and had prayer with the staff and friends and relatives…. And felt the Lord was giving us the challenge of spending the rest of our lives together! Several days before my birthday, Mick gave me a gorgeous emerald surrounded by diamonds in a ring. I thought this was his unique engagement ring to the girl with green eyes.

Then to my great surprise on my birthday he gave me a diamond, one ring for each hand.

“What date do you think we should get married?”

That was when I remembered my calendar with the circle in red around July 14 th and the question mark. “Well, I never would have picked a Sunday to get married but…..”

I then told Mick the whole office devotional story and we set the date.

It turned out perfect. Those who drove from out of state could make in driving Saturday and then leaving before noon on Sunday to return. We planned a reception at the guy’s staff house. Now, I am not sure how many of you have ever been IN the guy’s staff house but cleaning it would have made us late for our wedding. Mick and I were already putting siding on the chapel nearby the platform by the lake where we planned the outdoor wedding. Getting that staff house cleaned would have made all concerned late for the wedding. Then, to firmly close that door the air conditioning went out. This was East Texas in July. We couldn’t possibly have a reception indoors without air.

Soon, my friend Kathryn, who had helped build and operate the Sub Station on the base said “hey, I am getting flowers planted outside the restaurant and it is closed Sundays, would you like to have your reception there? I can help…”

My sister came a week early and saw the issues I was having with well meaning friends who were saying things like “oh, you just have to have flowers all over the railing at the platform….” “you really need to do your cake like this…” SO my sister asked if I’d like her to take over coordinating. “I can just say, Jo would really rather do this, they won’t argue with me because they don’t know me.” She was so right and that was the best gift she could give me besides singing for our ceremony.

To keep from hurting anyone’s feelings mom was my matron of honor and dad gave me away. Mick’s friend who he had known at YWAM New Jersey was our best man and his wife the photographer. Beautiful!

And we became Mr. and Mrs. Mickey Phelps on July 14 th ! We were forever thankful for the great teaching we had. Intimacy was for our honeymoon and boy, were we looking forward to that! GRIN

Hebrews 10:26-36 (New International Version)

26 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, 27 but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. 28 Anyone who rejected the law of Moses died without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. 29 How much more severely do you think a man deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God under foot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified him, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace? 30 For we know him who said, " It is mine to avenge; I will repay, " [ a ] and again, " The Lord will judge his people. " [ b ] 31 It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

32 Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering. 33 Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. 34 You sympathized with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions.

35 So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. 36 You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

#1 Lie of the enemy for physical involvement outside of marriage: “You’re dating, it’s late but God will speak… there’s a way of escape….That’s all right, he’ll forgive you….”

Psalm 19:13 (New International Version)

13 Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression.

You’re not forgiven when you’re motivated by a lie based on the truth of God – it insults the spirit of grace. If there’s true repentance you don’t fall into it again. You can’t justify lust by the grace of God. Premeditated sin presumes on God’s grace – grace doesn’t justify sin.

God, give me the grace of true repentance.

Chances of God keeping you together with a person you’re physically involved with are slim, even light physical involvement. SO if you really love them DON’T get physically involved. Emotional chains with physical involvement take you away from God.

#1 desire in a girl is to have a man who will lead her spiritually without shame, a man who puts God first and is not ashamed. #1 thing in a girl’s flesh is to destroy this quality. She tried to destroy this through demanding attention and nagging which conflicts with spiritual things because he responds and gives her time and he has less time to spend with God.

#1 desire in a guy is a girl who has a certain innocence about her, purity. Yet his flesh is trying to destroy with physical involvement before marriage.

Tape 3

#1 goal of high school teenagers is to be married and 95% want to be parents.

What happens to you when you have any kind of sex before marriage?

The chief purpose in dating is to achieve spiritual oneness and draw closer to the Lord.

In the World: Love = infatuation or romance. In Jesus: Love = commitment. You need commitment first, romance second or when the feelings are gone so is the commitment if you let feelings come first.

(YOU NEED TO PRAY BEFORE FEELINGS ARE CLOUDING THE PICTURE TO SEE WHAT GOD’S PURPOSE IS FOR THIS RELATIONSHIP OR YOU’LL HAVE A HARD TIME HEARING CLEARLY)

Some of these writings are based on a lecture series called Sex and Dating by Dale Crall and are used with his permission. Thank you Dale!

There are many more articles in this series if you enjoyed this one you might want to read the others!

(C) Marijo Phelps all rights reserved. Use with proper credits.

Article submitted Sunday, March 07, 2010 & read 52 times.

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