Dating: How It Should Be Done And Its Benefits
by Efoghor Joseph Ezie(11)jossyhealth
Are you dating and you need tips as to how it should be done? You do not need to worry yourself too much as there are available helps that would enable you know what to do and what benefit you stand to get from your relationship. Before you start dating you must first ask yourself what is the purpose and what you intend to get from it, whether you are doing it for fun or you are doing it because you wish to establish a serious and lasting relationship that could probably result in marriage.
What then is dating?
Dating is a meeting you have arranged with a boyfriend or girlfriend or with somebody who might become a boyfriend or girlfriend. It can also be an act of having a romantic relationship with somebody. It can be between two young people of the opposite sexes or between elderly or much older adults who are still single, divorced or widowed.
How is dating started?
Usually dating is started by the man taking the step to woo the woman and then arranging a place that would be comfortable or private for them to discuss alone or hang out. This all depends on the culture anyway as the women are also known to take the lead in some cultures. Dating could also be arranged through a dating agency that is set up for the purpose of arranging meetings between people of the opposite sexes. For the date to work it means that both parties must give a mutual consent to meet at a particular place or on a prearranged date.
What are the advantages of dating?
Some of the advantages of dating include:
1. Familiarity: It enables the persons involved to get to know themselves better as they get closer. They are able to understand each other’s emotions, likes/dislikes, capabilities, etc. This familiarity which is established as they get closer to each other also helps to erase some misconceptions or misperceptions they may have concerning each other.
2. Compatibility assessment: Dating gives the individuals the opportunity to evaluate themselves whether they are compatible or not. Here they are able to compare each other’s level of tolerance, temperaments, values, respects for each other, conflict resolution, etc and decide whether they suit each other or not.
3. Mutual adjustment: Dating also provides the opportunity for the people to adjust their lifestyle for the purposes of accommodating the opinions or feelings of the other person. It enables the individuals to test their ability to adjust to the short comings of the other person. Whereby they feel they are not able to adjust the relationship could break up without having to waste each other’s time.
What should they avoid while dating?
1. Physical abuse/battery: Dating does not give one the license or opportunity to physically abuse his partner or take her as a slave; it calls for mutual respect and tolerance.
2. Sex: Sex must be avoided if you hope to be valued and respected. One other reason you must avoid sex is because you may end up giving it to everyone that you date should marriage not result from the relationships: it logically means that if you date up to 10 different men and end up breaking up because you are incompatible, you would have ended up having sex with the 10 of them. You must preserve your sexual purity for marriage; it should not be given out cheaply. Keep your virginity as a gift for your husband. Give it to him on your wedding night as your honeymoon gift.
3. Pretence/lies: You should present yourself exactly the way you are and stop pretending in order to get him/her to marry you. If you build your relationship on the foundation of pretence it would collapse within a short time. Allow your partner to see your weak points and decide whether he/she can cope with them.
4. Excessive closeness: Avoid excessive closeness or hanging out in isolated and lonely places as this is capable of making you fall to the temptation of premarital sex.
5. Cohabitation: Don’t pack into a man’s home while you are dating; you must allow first thing to be done. He has to pass through the normal process of marriage – see your parents, arrange to settle your bride price and officially conduct the marriage rites/ceremony before you can move in with him.
6. Under-age dating: Don’t start dating if you are under-age; make sure you understand what the law in your state or country says concerning the acceptable age for marriage before you start thinking in that direction.
Do you need some dating advice or tips? Efoghor Joseph Ezie is a Christian author and marriage counsellor. For more of his articles visit http://jossy-love-and-marriage.blogspot.com
Article submitted Thursday, May 13, 2010 & read 14 times.
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