Adoption: Should Couples See It As The Last resort?
by Efoghor Joseph Ezie(11)jossyhealth
Barrenness is a state no couple would ever wish to pass through, because of the emotional, psychological and social distress involved. The pressure from families could really be much, especially in Africa where family name is so cherished; and the people involved could be so pressed as to want to do anything humanly possible to get a child of their own.
Angela and Shola became married after high school and hoped to raise children just like any other couple. They had met way back in school where they began to date: several years after their marriage nothing happened. They kept hoping God would give them a child of their own. They had visited some hospitals and did some medical tests, but nothing was found to be wrong with either of them.
They had relaxed their minds since there was nothing left for them to do that had not been done; they concluded God would give them their own children at his appointed time. But seven years passed and no positive result came: then Shola’s family began to mount pressure. They wanted him to have a second wife so he could give them grand children. He resisted the pressure, but instead of getting any relief, the pressure worsened. The mother at a time threatened to kill herself should he not give them grand children.
Finally, the couple made up their mind to adopt a child, as a last resort. The family initially frowned at the idea, because they had reasoned that a child who didn’t belong to them would never be like their own blood. They believed such a child would come in with bad traits that were not in their family. “What if the parents were thieves, witches, occultists, or even flirts, won’t the child take after them?” they had reasoned. But after much persuasion from the couple, they finally agreed to let them adopt a child.
The couple adopted a child from an orphanage in town after passing through the necessary formalities and brought the boy home. Evans grew up to be a very nice child, to the delight of the family; he was intelligent, respectful, honest and diligent. He went to school on a government scholarship, having come out tops at scholarship examination.
He eventually graduated from the university with a first class honours and few years later, he was appointed a minister. He was the envy of every parent in their neighbourhood. He bright smiles to the faces of his parents; he excelled above the ones that were termed ‘legitimate children’. He even made sure his parents did not suffer in their old age.
Why Should Couples Adopt?
It brings joy: There is a two-way joy in adoption; the one who adopts is now happy because the stigma of barrenness is removed from her life. Besides, the couple is happy for making another person happy. There is joy in giving hope to someone who would have died hopeless.
It removes loneliness: When couples adopt, they now have one who keeps them company. They have someone to play with, confide in, eat with and share dreams with; they no longer live in an isolated world.
Family name: Since the family name is so important, the adopted child now becomes the person through whom it should be sustained. The couples are rest assured that when they die, there would be someone to answer their family name.
Care: It also ensures that the people are well cared for in their old age. Instead of looking for a house help when they are old, the adopted child would be there to provide the love, care and assistance they would need.
It prevents polygamy: It also prevents the tendency to marry a second wife in the quest to get children. Polygamy is such a complicated issue, and it provides a ground for family division and disaffection; so it should be avoided at all cost. Adopting a child or children becomes an avenue to avoid it and escape from the numerous problems it brings.
For more articles by Efoghor Joseph Ezie, visit http://jossy-love-and-marriage.blogspot.com
Article submitted Thursday, July 01, 2010 & read 4 times.
Leave Your Comments:
» left by Marijo Phelps from mountain meadow (69 days 4 hours ago.)
And it is such a blessing to our Father God - adoption is definitely in the Bible - if we weren't "adopted" into God's family, where would we be? Thanks for writing this one, Brother!Respond to this comment
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