The Tongue: A Source Of marital Conflicts
by Efoghor Joseph Ezie(11)jossyhealth
No sooner had Joy and Emeka been married than they began to have some conflicts; these constant problems were so much that they began to threaten their marriage. Something urgent needed to be done in order to save the young relationship from breaking up.
Neighbours had occasionally been woken from their midnight sleep by the shout from this couple, who could not fashion a mature way to handle their conflicts. On some occasions, the frenzy of violence got to such an intolerable level that their neighbours had to confront them, demanding to know why they should not be allowed to enjoy their rent.
Emeka had often beaten his new wife to pulp; with the woman occasionally admitted into the hospital for treatment. It was a case of two persons who lacked self-control, living together under the same roof. Each time there was trouble; Emeka would throw a tantrum, swearing to deal with anyone who dared to come to his wife’s rescue. Joy on the other hand, would curse and call her husband all sorts of derogatory names, without minding who was listening.
The marriage was on the verge of collapse, when Andy came to their rescue. “I know what the cause of your marital conflicts is, and I would love to help you so as to prevent your marriage from breaking up”, he said to Joy. “Really, how do you intend to help us? My husband seems not to love me, and our marriage is almost dead”. She replied. “The thing you need to save your marriage would cost you some money”. Andy had said. “ I don’t mind how much it would cost, so long as it saves my marriage”, she concluded. “In that case, you will pay me only $200”. He said. A deal was struck and he went away.
The next day, Andy came with a bottle containing some roots, and he said to Joy “You need to fill this bottle up with some clean water; and the moment your husband returns and he begins to talk to you as usual, you would be tempted to retort, but don’t say a word”. “Instead, you should take a half cup full of this concoction and put it into your mouth; you should not swallow it, and if you attempt to talk back, the concoction would pour from your mouth. And if that happens, that would mark the end of your marriage”. She paid him and he left.
Emeka soon began to notice a great change; each time he talked, his wife no longer retorted. This continued for weeks, and at the end of the third month, he could no longer hide his feelings, so he began to ask his wife what had happened to her. She told him the source of her help; so one evening they decided to meet Andy to find out what was actually the problem. “The tongue has always been the culprit” he said. How do you mean? Asked Emeka. “Each time one of you talked and the other talked back angrily, the ember of anger is fanned and it ignites into a fight; he said. “But when your wife placed that water in her mouth, it merely prevented her from talking; and by so doing, the marital conflicts that had engulfed you could no longer grow. Nothing special caused your problems, but your tongues; control your tongues and there would be no more fights”.
Most families are going through similar ordeal today, and a lot of them are ending up in divorce because of the inability of the couples to control their tongues. Nothing destroys a relationship like unbridled tongue (James 3:5-6)
You should try the best you can to save your marriage; never engage yourselves in war of words. Don’t give the devil an opportunity to break your home. When your partner is annoyed, you should not provoke him/her further by the kinds of words you say; look for a way to calm him/her down. You may even leave him/her alone until the anger subsides.
For more articles by Efoghor Joseph Ezie, visit http://jossy-love-and-marriage.blogspot.com
Article submitted Thursday, July 01, 2010 & read 7 times.
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