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Marriage & Addiction - Part I

Addiction is something few want to readily discuss. Addiciton inhibits intimacy in the marriage! Transparency is necessary in order to build intimacy. Transparency and intimacy are essential components in building a strong satisfying marriage. Addiction prohibits you from being transparent!

Addiction is a clear indicator that you are hurting! You have simply found an unhealthy way to cope with your pain. Your addiction can be alcohol, cocaine, heroin, marijuana, uppers, downers, caffeine, illicit sex, pornography, food and even shopping! Yes and there are more… Guess what? You have only found a way to momentarily relieve or somewhat ease your infuriating inner pain; it is still there!

I say momentarily because while under the influence or indulging in the activity you are able to somewhat escape. However the cause still remains because the pain returns. Often more vehement than ever causing you to each time pursue passionately that which you are addicted to! Addiction of any kind can be life threatening because you are out of control. Your desires consume you and disable your ability to be responsible. Instead the activity controls you and you will do whatever it takes to get a “quick fix!

How does this impact my marriage? Marriage is a partnership and when one has an addiction they are not able to fully commit because the addiction is often their main priority! Secrets, lies and deception accompany addiction! The addiction is used to fill the insatiable void in their heart! It instead becomes the companion!

A disordered family, peer pressure, cultural influences, abuse, rape, molestation, lack of self esteem and a weakness to experiment can all contribute to one developing an addiction.

We live in a drug friendly environment, we are bombarded with the invitation to take this pill or that pill. Notice how many television commercials attempt to sell you something to feel better! There are pushers of all sorts… Doctors oblige patients with tranquilizers, stimulants, pain pills, sleeping pills even pills to wake you up!

Keeping your commitments are important! One thing that needs to be promoted more is a personal relationship with the Lord! Marriage is ordained by God! It was designed to be the ultimate relationship between a man and a woman. It can also help you prioritize life and put all your other relationships into their proper perspective, it can help you develop a healthier living environment!

Building trust is an important part of marriage! As we commit to building healthier home environments we contribute to lessening the number of addictions continuing to escalate. A safe home environment does not exclude addiction; but it does serve to nurture those who are… The possibility to break the generational cycle of dysfunction becomes attainable.

It is important to seek ways to validate one another. To develop and ongoing healthy support system that says I care. This does not mean you support the addiction. No! You separate the behavior from the person. You encourage them to be the best they can be and find ways to help them become who they were created to be!

God created each of us uniquely and we have varying temperaments. Our needs are different when these needs are not met a void is created and therefore one seeks to often erroneously fill that void. Marriage is about working together to find healthier ways to fill those voids with a committed partner…

Your partner is not responsible for your addiction you are. Both must hold one another accountable for their actions! You both are accountable to God for the vows you made…

In this 21st century emotional gasoline has flamed the fires of addiction. Addiction is big business therefore it is often rationalized and one can easily find access and support. Addiction does not usually happen overnight it is a gradual process that begins with a series of steps…

Next we will discuss some of those steps

Food For Thought Before & After You Say "I DO"

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